Smashing Patriarchy With Silence
Using it to hold space for myself and strengthen my voice
“I’ve not spoken to Mariyam in over six months,” was my cousin’s reply to my mother over a general call. Before I could say why this was, my sister said to our mother, the cousin usually discusses her child, and my mother replied, “Well, she is raising a child, so that is what she will talk about. Girls are doing everything now a days. Taking care of a family, raising children, managing a job, and spending time on their hobbies. It is what all women do.”
My mother was subtly implying that unlike other women, I wasn’t doing enough in life. In all probability, she was judging me for choosing a single life, a job and various other passions, sans marriage, sans motherhood. I chose silence in that moment, rather than justify my choices. The conversation ended with her sigh of displeasure.
For women, silence is handed as a prized possession by patriarchy. It is what makes us ‘more feminine’. It is what keeps us within ‘our limits’. It is what keeps us ‘safe’. It is what helps us lead our lives without conflict. How many times have women heard, “Why did you have to speak up?”
A woman with a mind and the confidence to speak her mind is a threat to every patriarchal set up. She will refuse to cover up the injustices, abuse…
